Pikkadili
I had another nightmare about coming out to my family. As you can guess, it went not so good.

This time, it was a little better because I had a girlfriend by my side. Actually, in my first dream there was a girl, too, but it seemed to me that out relationship wasn't very serious. But in this dream, my second, the girl meant a lot to me. We knew each other for a long time but started a relationship just before my coming out. I don't remember all the details of the nightmare and it's a pity. I'd like to be prepared to what I might expect from my parents. Well, I have to tell all the details I do remember.

The said girlfriend was my brother's friend and she used to come to our place and have dinner with us. My mother kind of liked her. Every time I saw them talking it was quite nicely.

One night, the girl came in in my room, took off her pants and went to the kitchen. My mother was in my room, either, so she saw the girl's pants and suggested me to buy something like that for she liked it. I said 'Okay, I like them as well. I'll go to a shop with ...(the name of the girl).' My mother agreed.

Next scene took place in my room, again. I guess, I had already bought the pants, because the girl and I had alike pants on. My mother was with us and we were talking. Mother asked the girl if she wanted to be married. 'Well. Not to a man,' replied the girl. My mother was surprised but it was a good surprise, I could tell. 'Wow!' mother said. 'Is it legal in our country to married a woman?' 'Yes, there are ways,' the girl replied. I was very intrigued because I've never heard about a legal way gays could be married in our country. I guess, I asked the girl a question about that and mother didn't like it.

I really don't remember what happened next. I just realized that my mother knows that I am gay. Maybe I came to the girl and made a gesture or something like that. Maybe I even kissed her because the reaction of my mother was very strong and heated. She started to scream and yell at me. Yes, only at me. It was okay with the girl to be a gay but it wasn't okay with me to be the same. Mother said a lot of insulting and cruel things and then she went to work.

I don't remember what the girl and I were doing but suddenly it was an evening. My parents came in in my room and it started again: insulting words, shouts... The good thing about this was that the girl was supporting me. We sat together in the armchair. Actually, the girl transformed to a cat but I knew it was her. I held her in my arms and tried to keep her calm because she was a little scared of screams and my parents.

I don't think it's necessary to repeat all the things parents said to me. It was all the same. They didn't understand me and how I could be like that. They said I was going to marry a man anyway. The main thing is they didn't hear me at all. They listened to me but they didn't hear me.

At last, I took the cat and went to another room for I could stand it no longer. A little later my parents came in in that room and said that I have to get out. They don't want me in their house. They don't consider me as their daughter.

My brother (I guess, it was Anton) tried to stand up for me but it didn't work. They said to him to get out as well.

Well, we were given our coats and then we left. I held the cat in my arms all the way, I didn't leave her, don't worry.

I wasn't very scared of this nightmare because this time there were people who stood up for me and were willing to sacrifice their goods for me. I don't know who that girl was but she was my girlfriend in the dream.

The thing that really scares me is the repeat of the dream. I think it's a warning. Again. And that is what scares me the most.

@темы: Домашние, Сны