Episode 21, "The greater of good"

I'm not sure if my finding can be interesting or not, and I don't know if it was already noticed by others watchers, I just want to mention it in my diary.

It that episode, Gabrielle has to pretend she is Xena for the warrior princess is sick and can't fight yet. Gabrielle has to make sure the warlords won't know that Xena is sick. So, she dresses in Xena's war clothes, gets her weapons and rides Argo. Her war cry is almost as scaring as Xena's, but her riding Argo skills are not so good. Gabrielle is being thrown from Argo's back and to a big wooden trough full of water.

Some time later, when Gabrielle has managed to free herself and the other events have taken place, we are watching the beautiful scene of returning of Xena to life. She is fighting all the warlords. And the very same man who trown Gabrielle to the trough is finding himself exactly there (with a little help of Xena, that's certain).

Now, Xena couldn't have known what have happened to Gabrielle, because when Gabrielle returned to the villige after her own capture and rescue, Xena was already not breathing. But somehow, I think, these double scene is meaningful.

It was all the same in the trilogy by Susanne Beck. Ice killed the man who threatened Angel the same way he was threatening: she pulled a bullet through his temple. I think, it's about saying: "you did it to her, I would do it to you". It doesn't matter that the man didn't kill Angel; for Ice it was enough that he even tried to do it. But the main point, in both the trilogy and the episode of series, is to hurt the people the same way they were trying to hurt their beloveds.

I don't really understand this theory but, then again, I'm not a murderer, I have never even been close to it, so I may never understand it but I can see it when it's happening. On the one hand, I hate every thought that might be about a revenge. I don't believe in setting justice through a murder. It will never return the person who you love and who have been killed. It will never make you happy or free. I am just sure of it. But on the other hand, sometimes I'm so carried away with a story and characters I grew to love that I can't see another way to make justice. I sympathize so deeply with their loss or nearly loss that I can't think straight. I grieve.

I have two explanations for this. First, it's who I am. I am not able to give a straight answer to a question. I am not able to judge a situation from one point of view. I am Libra and I am always to be uncertain. There is nothing I can do about it. That's why I always can say that a person is right and wrong at the same time.

Second, and it's a conclusion from the above, I can understand what it's like to lose your beloved or I come as close to understanding as I can. I don't feel my own feelings. Their feeling are in my head and in my heart. I know that there is only one way for them to deal with it. I know that I will better hide in secret place and grieve and grieve until I can take no longer. It will take so long, I know it, but I am not capable of revenge. But them... It's another story. They do what they think is the right thing to do. I can never argue with or deny it. They do what they have to do. It's as simple as that.