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Сумка CANYON CNR-NB22 для современной Снегурочки

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Aкустика TopDevice TDM-300 для объемного и яркого звучания любимых новогодних песен

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thesmokingcocktail.blogspot.com/

October, 6
Wednesday

The day started pretty good.

I had porridge with nuts, raisins (изюм) and prunes (чернослив). It was unusual because I'm lazy to do it regularly.)) Also, I made several canapé consisting of bread, cornichons, stewed beet and some mayonnaise. It was unusual, as well, for we don't recieve guests very often and to do such delicious things for ourselves is nonsense. All in all, I liked my breakfast very much.

The sun was shining so bright and beautiful that I couldn't resist it. I took a quick shower and got dressed.

I decided to start at Gostiny Dvor, so I went by tube to Nevsky Prospect metro station.

Gostiny Dvor is a place with a lot of things (bijouterie, books, china, souvenirs, clothes and so on) but prices are quite high so we don't buy things there, it's a place for tourists mostly.

I saw very beautiful earings and bracelets - so colorful and interesting. Maybe one day I will take them but not now.

Then I came along Square of Arts (there is a small, quiet park) to Church of the Savior on Blood. There is a park, as well, and I went through it enjoying wonderful trees with their many-coloured leaves and the sun on my hair.

Julya is back from her vacation.

On her departure day she sent an e-mail to all the departments informing about the dates of her vacation so that everyone knew. I got one, as well, on the operator's mail box. The date of her arrival back was 25 of September.

"You're going to be back only on twenty fifth?" I asked Julya when she was saying her good-bye.

"No! Actually, I'm coming on twenty seventh. I'm not gonna come on a weekend, am I?"

Her statement made me realize that twenty fifth of September was Saturday. Seriously, it was a smart thing to do: to say you are going to be back on twenty fifth whereas the actual date of your arrival is two days later. It made the people think as if Julya's vacation wasn't so long, after all. It was smart, but at the same time it made me sad, for when you do such things it means you don't trust your colleagues. Julya understands very good how these people she's working with, are. They will be envy just because someone goes on vacation. It doesn't matter that they themselves have vacation as well. At this very moment they have to work when someone is going to enjoy herself, and they just can't bear it.

So, I was expecting Julya to come back on Monday, twenty seventh of September.

Usually Julya makes our Front Office schedule but when she was on vacation Lena K. was responsible for it. In the middle of the month, on Friday (the day when we have a new schedule for the next two weeks) I got an e-mail on the operator's mail box. It was from LaneK who was in Moscow on business. She made a new schedule but physically wasn't able to print it out and hung on the desk. She asked to do it ourselves or wait till her arrival, so that she could do it herself. I decided to help and print the schedule. Firstly, I found out my days off and on and I was quite pleased. Secondly, I looked at the column in front of Julya's name and wasn't pleased at all. It said that she was going to come back not on Monday but on Tuesday. Well, one day is not a big deal but it was so for me, for it meant I was to wait one more day whereas it was bad enough to wait all twenty of them. Besides, I trusted Julya enough to believe her every word. It hurt that she said me the date that turned out to be false. The only soothing thing was to pretend that she changed her mind and informed just LenaK about it.

On Tuesday I was to work in the evening, so it was three-four hours to spend with Julya. I wanted Julya to feel welcomed and good and decided to cook something and take it with me to the hotel. I couldn't, of course, present it to her personally, I had to pretend that it was for all the guys who worked that day. The reason of this 'generosity' had to die with me. And when I was contemplating the exact thing I could cook for Julya, I realized that Tuesday was going to be the day of celebrating Lisa's past birthday. My cake (I had decided to bake a cake) could be mistaken as Lisa's present and I wasn't going to do such a thing. So, I had to leave all the thoughts about Julya's 'welcome back' present behind.

Today, preparing for an evening shift, I was thinking about Julya all the time. I knew she had to be in St. Petersburg already. I was imagining the things she could be doing at the moment. My imagination was as good as always, so I imagined that Julya might come to the hotel to visit us. It was such a stupid thing to think about. What kind of sane person would come to work on her last vacation day? Well, I would, but we all know I am not a sane person.

Coming in Back Office my eyes were riveted to the Julya's desk for here Julya was, sitting there and waving at me. Because of my bad eyes I couldn't see her exactly, but I knew it was her immediately. I came closer and closer looking at the beloved face all the time. She said to me 'Hi, Polya' several times but I couldn't speak. I was totally shocked. I wasn't even sure I could breathe.

Unfortunately, there were Natasha and Vova and Sasha from Sales department, so I couldn't even say the words I wanted to say when I felt I could speak again. I was staring at Julya, watching her over, trying to familiarize myself with her again. I honestly didn't expect her to be there. I hoped so much to see her as soon as possible, but I didn't want to have my hopes too high and then see them falling down. That's why seeing Julya a day earlier made it some sort of miracle. That's why I was behaving like a robot and everybody was staring at me when I was staring at Julya.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I was almost panting, so I turned around and went to the nearest board as if to put my purse down, although my real purpose was to calm down a little bit.

Next twenty minutes the guys were shifting each other and I just stood and sat here and there for I was a trainee once again and there was nobody for me to shift with.

Then we had a long meeting. Usually these meetings are daily and short — we discuss all the important things that happened or are going to happen any time soon. This time it was much longer because Julya was back and there were a lot of things to share with each other. Actually, when Julya was absent, we didn't have meetings at all, and I didn't think it was good. I missed them. They are my constant reminder of the things going on in the hotel. We discuss mistakes and good deals, how to deal with a difficult situation, how to calm a hysterical guest, all the things we may come across with.

When the meeting ended, the morning shift left and we began to work.

About six PM Julya came over to the first desk and approached LenaK.

"Polya and I will go to the canteen, all right?"

"I'll go with you."

Then a guest demanded LenaK's attention and Julya added that she would go and we would follow her later.

"But take her with you, okay? She won't go on her own." Julya was talking about me and I was smirking in my mind: Julya was back and I wasn't going to loose an opportunity to be with her. All the time she was gone I hadn't visited the canteen. There was no need to do it. I could have a cup of tea in BO if I wanted to. The canteen for me is to be with Julya a little longer than usually is possible, not to have tea.

There were three of us in the canteen. The girls were having some dinner but I couldn't even drink a cup of tea. I was too excited to consume anything.

I asked Julya about her vacation and she said she loved it.

"It was so good to be off. I'd love to enjoy myself a little longer than that. It's so hard to get up and go to work again. Don't want to do it at all."

I knew that Julya was in Croatia. I guess, it wasn't the only country she visited. From St. Petersburg she had flighted to Germany to meet with her friend. Then they were going to take a car and travel about Europe.

"Did you manage to visit all the places you had in mind?"

"Yeah! Well, almost. It took us longer than we thought and there were some cities we weren't able to reach. Besides, it makes you tired traveling in a car all the time."

Julya admitted that the most beautiful city was Salzburg, Austria. It was quite historical.

I didn't know what to ask next and Julya didn't look like she was willing to share the details of her trip with us. I let it be.

Later we had a conversation about how stupid men are sometimes. I didn't participate, exactly, because of my lack of experience. I was listening and asking questions when I had them.

"Polya, do you think it's wise to laundry blue jeans with a white shirt together? Everybody knows that clothes have to be of the same material and color to laundry it together in a washing machine. Otherwise you'll have a mess instead of your clothes. But he just doesn't understand it!" Julya was talking about her friend. She said the last weekend, already in St. Petersburg, they were washing their dirty clothes and it was hell. "Well, he washed his jeans and the shirt together, then looked at them and was surprised to find that the shirt was blue instead of white. 'Why is it so? How come?' he was exclaiming."

"Indeed! How could it be?" LenaK and I were laughing.

"He just doesn't understand the difference." Julya continued. "I tried to explain it to him but he wasn't listening. He washed his another pair of pants and some white T-shirt and it was the same — the clothes were stained! And he was surprised once again!"

LenaK decided to say something about her friend as well. As far as I know she's dating a German guy but they don't live together yet.

"He has a kink to go shoeless after a bath. Once in my apartment he took a shower, didn't take slippers on and had something glued to his foot. He was furious! Although I clean my apartment every day there is always a possibility to find some dust or whatever, don't you agree? Well, some time later we were in a hotel, and he took a shower and was barefoot again. I said it was too dangerous to go shoeless around a hotel room. You don't know whether it was cleaned after the last guests or not. You have no guarantees. But he was sure it was safer to be barefoot on a hotel room's floor than on my apartment's one! How stupid is that?"

I realized that LenaK wasn't upset that her friend preferred hotel's floor her apartment's. She just couldn't understand the nature of his thoughts to be sure that a hotel's room is always clean. She works in a hotel, she knows how the things are in there. That's why it was so hard for her to understand it.

"Well, men are just stupid." Julya said once again. "They don't want to understand simple things."

I sat in there listening to them. I became very amused with every minute. Though, it was confusing as well as amusing.

How can they say these things about men and continue to love them anyway? Actually, they were not even talking about men in general, they were talking about their boyfriends, the men they loved, as I assumed. And they gave an impression that they honestly couldn't understand their boyfriends' behavior, preferring to laugh at them than trying to find a solution. Although I don't have an experience about a relationship with men, I always thought that every relationship is about understanding and compassion. No matter how different you are, no matter how different your points of view. If you love each other, than there is always a possibility to find a way to fix everything. Even if you are not agree with your beloved, you try to understand his reasons as much as possible. Even if you don't understand him at all, you respect him no matter what. And it means you don't go and gossip about him in such an ungraceful way.

I didn't say a word about my thoughts but it gave me something to muse about.


That day I was looking at Julya every time she was in my eye's way. I couldn't get enough of her.

She didn't treat me any different than other girls and boys. She touched my arm just once, in the canteen, telling something. There were no special words to me.

Julys left without saying good-bye. Well, maybe we were busy with guests and she didn't want to bother us. But it hurt nevertheless.

The day of Julya's coming back went absolutely not the way I wanted it to be.

Yesterday was my last day of summer practice at Radisson SAS Royal Hotel in Saint-Petersburg. It was a full-time work day, I was really busy and was trying to work absolutely on my own, for there was no other switch-board in the office that day. Apparently, everybody else was busy as well, so I remembered about the documents I had to have signed when there was no time left. Well, we did manage to find some time and Julya singed the documents, but when I got home I found out that we forgot to write my testimonial. This last document is very important to my tutors. I don't think they spend a lot of time reading our practice's reports but if you have a good testimonial it means a lot. It means you were really great at what you were doing and that you were liked by your colleagues and your boss. It means you are qualified and are ready to work in the service.

Anyways, as soon as I could I called Julya and asked to come tomorrow in order to write the testimonial. I guessed she would write it at work and sign it, and I just should come and take it the next day. But Julya was busy and asked me to write it myself. And what an interesting thing to be doing it was! I felt very awkward describing myself and writing things I wasn't even sure I had in myself. Also, it was awkward and a little scary because the testimonial was supposed to be written by Julya, so I was trying to guess Julya's words about me. It was really hard and I was confused to do it.

So, today I got up more earlier than I thought I would, but I really needed this testimonial. At ten a.m. I was supposed to meet Oreshik - she had my printed report. We met at Lomonosovskya metrostation. It was a really brief meeting because she needed to go to college and I also had things to do, so we said our good byes and parted.

At about half past ten I was in the hotel. Tanya and Olya were a little surprised to see me but they managed to hide it so well I wasn't even sure they were indeed surprised. I have a feeling when you work at a hotel it becomes a habit to not show your genuine emotions. I find it rather sad and disconcerting.

I asked to call Julya and she came to me pretty soon. By that time the girls already knew about the purpose of my appearence.

I don't want to describe all the details about my testimonial. The sad part about it was that my flesh drive didn't want to be opened. We called out IT-manager to help and it worked. But he warned me to clean my flesh drive for it has a lot of viruses. I was sad because the USB isn't mine but my brother's, so I have to tell him about it and I'm not sure he will take it very smoothly.

Other things were more successful and very soon I had the testimonial on my hands.

After that Julya and I had a little chit-chat. I will try to describe it somehow.

Today it's raining non-stop and I had a very wet umbrella when I came to the hotel. When I was trying to have my documents (the report and the testimonial) in some kind of order Julya offered to hold my umbrella while I was doing it. I agreed but warned that my umbrella was real wet. It reminded Julya about the rain and she said something like:

"Damn rain. I had beautiful bangs this morning but after the trip to work it got damaged."

And she touched her bangs to sleek it.

It made me to watch her face and hair and I found them loving as usual. I said very quietly:

"You are very beautiful."

I'm not sure but she paused somehow and I found a little strange expression on her face. I think she was a bit shocked and wasn't sure weather she imagined my words or not. I said it real soft and I knew my eyes were facing the floor, so she could be mistaken but I think she heard the words nevertheless.

After that she tried to joke and I really don't remember what was happening next because I was shocked, too. I didn't plan to say those words. I've never imagined myself saying them. Not in the situation we were in, at least. I just wanted to accent her beauty and it seemed as a good opportunity to do it. So I just did it and that's all.

There was a moment when Julya complimented my clothes but I don't remember the exact time it happened - before or after I told her she was beautiful. But it doesn't matter. So, she said that I was quite impressive in my pants-suit, and she guessed that I was going to go to college after that. I admitted that I was indeed going to visit college later but I didn't say that my choice of clothes had nothing to do with what I was going to go to next. I had a pants-suit with cotton blouse on, and there were earings on, matching the blouse. I had my hair loose, just the way I like them. I knew I was good in those things and I wanted to look good. Actually, there are two reasons for that. First, the guys I was working with are used to see me in the uniform and with my make-up on. All in all this appearence is quite nice. So, I didn't want to fall in their eyes (or do English know this phrase?). And second, I always want to look good when I'm near Julya. She is beautiful and stylish all the time. I want to be like her and I want her to like me. At least, I want her to look at me with pleasure, even if it's more about make-up or good clothes than about myself.

So, I was pleased when Julya complimented me. She said she liked the colour of my blouse - as blue as the sky is. Someone told me one day that blue is a good colour for me. Julya's words proved it and I'm glad.

Then tell about the presentation and pics and Julya's willingness to help me.

That's right, I've started to practise at the same hotel I was at last time. The guys I was working with do remember me and I must say it makes me very happy. It's quite difficult to start all over again, to get used to new people and a place. So, I'm really glad I didn't have to do it. Besides, I am very happy to work with the same persons considering how much I like them.

The work is the same. The good news about it is I like it, so almost always I go home much later than I should. Sometimes the gilrs have to say to me several times to go home before I finally make it. What can I do? I like the job.

There are some changes at the hotel. Recently there was an opening of the new hotel of our hotel network. Some guys decided to apply and they got lucky. There are two girls that are missing in the Front Office. The first one (Natasha with fairy curly hair) had to be moving to Moscow and I knew about it, so I wasn't really surprised. (Actually, I didn't like her anyway.) And the second one (Nadya) was very nice to me and I have very good memories about her, so I was quite sad that she's not working with us anymore. She was said to be studying in Germany which is her dream, so I should be happy for her and I am. Also, there is a new girl, name's Natasha, who has been working not very long. She's quite friendly. Can't say more about her yet.

I started practising on Friday, 7th of May. The schedule I'm working to is very uncertain because I asked to work the way everybody else works which is not considering usual weekends and holidays. I have to be busy on weekends so parents wouldn't be able to take me to the country.

Today was very interesting, busy and even scaring day. As usual, time was running away from me and I was late. To be late is not usual for me; to miss time is. I should have been late for fifteen minutes or so, but the unexpected happened, and I was late for half an hour. The thing is my uniform didn't come to the hotel. Our uniforms and guests' clothes have dry-cleaned at the outside dry-cleaner's, so you have to be careful with timing. I took my uniform to the housekeeping on Tuesday, then I was off on Wednesday, and when I came on Thursday they said that my uniform didn't come back yet. I made a mistake with my calculations, but, truth be told, I have no idea where the mistake is. Anyways, considering that I have only one set of uniform, the woman from housekeeping and I had to go and choose another set for me. Actually, a FO specialist has to have two sets of uniform but being a trainee I was given the only one.

All's well that end's well. The set we found was even better than the one I had; the pants suits me much more than another one did. And nobody has noticed my being late. I mean, yes, it was noticed, but I wasn't yelled or something like that. I wasn't even said to not do it again. But I promised myself to be on time from now on.

There are some other things I want to tell but I have to go to bed because I have to get up early. So, I'll tell about them later. About the job and about the naked girl in the locker room.

Episode 21, "The greater of good"

I'm not sure if my finding can be interesting or not, and I don't know if it was already noticed by others watchers, I just want to mention it in my diary.

It that episode, Gabrielle has to pretend she is Xena for the warrior princess is sick and can't fight yet. Gabrielle has to make sure the warlords won't know that Xena is sick. So, she dresses in Xena's war clothes, gets her weapons and rides Argo. Her war cry is almost as scaring as Xena's, but her riding Argo skills are not so good. Gabrielle is being thrown from Argo's back and to a big wooden trough full of water.

Some time later, when Gabrielle has managed to free herself and the other events have taken place, we are watching the beautiful scene of returning of Xena to life. She is fighting all the warlords. And the very same man who trown Gabrielle to the trough is finding himself exactly there (with a little help of Xena, that's certain).

Now, Xena couldn't have known what have happened to Gabrielle, because when Gabrielle returned to the villige after her own capture and rescue, Xena was already not breathing. But somehow, I think, these double scene is meaningful.

It was all the same in the trilogy by Susanne Beck. Ice killed the man who threatened Angel the same way he was threatening: she pulled a bullet through his temple. I think, it's about saying: "you did it to her, I would do it to you". It doesn't matter that the man didn't kill Angel; for Ice it was enough that he even tried to do it. But the main point, in both the trilogy and the episode of series, is to hurt the people the same way they were trying to hurt their beloveds.

I don't really understand this theory but, then again, I'm not a murderer, I have never even been close to it, so I may never understand it but I can see it when it's happening. On the one hand, I hate every thought that might be about a revenge. I don't believe in setting justice through a murder. It will never return the person who you love and who have been killed. It will never make you happy or free. I am just sure of it. But on the other hand, sometimes I'm so carried away with a story and characters I grew to love that I can't see another way to make justice. I sympathize so deeply with their loss or nearly loss that I can't think straight. I grieve.

I have two explanations for this. First, it's who I am. I am not able to give a straight answer to a question. I am not able to judge a situation from one point of view. I am Libra and I am always to be uncertain. There is nothing I can do about it. That's why I always can say that a person is right and wrong at the same time.

Second, and it's a conclusion from the above, I can understand what it's like to lose your beloved or I come as close to understanding as I can. I don't feel my own feelings. Their feeling are in my head and in my heart. I know that there is only one way for them to deal with it. I know that I will better hide in secret place and grieve and grieve until I can take no longer. It will take so long, I know it, but I am not capable of revenge. But them... It's another story. They do what they think is the right thing to do. I can never argue with or deny it. They do what they have to do. It's as simple as that.

Every day it seems harder and harder to understand others' thoughts and opinions. I discover that there are not only black and white colors but a helluva lot more.

I'm being showed that it's not so simple to live.

And it's scaring me.

The world whirls much more quicker than I do. I can't seem to catch up with it.

I don't think I can live in such a world. I don't feel like I belong to this world. It's too complicated.

Somebody says, more complicated more interesting. But not for me.

I wonder, if I'm older, will I understand wolrd's rules and standarts? Will I accept them? Will I start to make out the difference between things more clearly?

One of the most dull moments about my college is two Big Breaks between lessons. Usually one break lasts ten minutes, which is quite enough to change your dislocation from one class to another, or to visit a bathroom, if necessary. For those who is used to have a lunch at college, there is a Big Break between third and forth lesson. It lasts thirty minutes and is definitely enough for having a meal. So, what is another one break for? Well, actually, somebody may not have time to have a lunch during first Big Break, I do understand it. And because of it, he has to make it during second Big Break. But the thing is, I do not have a lunch at college at all. I'm aware that it is my choice and nobody should care. But I still feel a little offended for I have to wait two Big Breaks to have my lessons begun.

The reason why I'm writing what I'm writing now, is today's event during second Big Break. My college mates - Oreshik and Masha - had a lunch during first BB, so all three of us had nothing to do during second one. Next lesson was supposed to be an Economics, the class of which is located on the first floor. But there is no comfy furniture there, so we decided to headed on the second floor and have our seats on the large couch. I was listening to music and girls were talking to each other. It was quite bearible. Very soon Masha stood up and said that she is going to check where our group is, in order to make sure we are not missed. I don't know why she had to be so worried about it. We are in the same building and we all have cell phones, if something is up. But it doesn't matter anyway.

There were only two of us on the couch, Oreshik and I. There were a few girls on the next couch, about thirty m from us. And, of course, there were a lot of passers-by - teachers and students altogether.

Oreshik wanted to sleep the whole last lesson, so as soon as Masha had gone, she started to position herself more comfortable on the couch, for we had now more free room than before. It was natural to offer her a hand. So, few seconds and some shiftings later we were lying quite comfortable together. Well, we were not lying exactly, it's rather rude to stretch on a couch at college. We leaned over the cushions; Oreshik rested her head on my right breast and my right arm was supporting her side. I remember her hair tickling against my cheek. I felt quite content and just a little bit nervous.

We kept this position till the ring, but before that I had a lot of thoughts. Oreshik means nothing to me in romantic aspect, so this little thing on the couch isn't bothering me in this way. But she and I are college mates. We are not exactly friends but, hell, I don't have friends at all. Maybe, there is a chance for me to start making friends at last? I don't mean I'm going to come to Oreshik first thing tomorrow morning and share all my secrets with her. But, at least, I can enjoy myself during situations like this one. When was the last time I hugged anybody? Anybody hugged me? I need a hug. And I'm not going to deny it any longer. I'm not a hero. I'm a human being who can use love and support sometimes.

After Economics lesson there was supposed to be Information Technology one but Oreshik and I had a more interesting thing to do than that one. There is our favorite tutor's birthday on the third of March and we decided to buy her a present. So, the two of us headed to the nearest market.

It's rather fun to do shopping with your mate, you know. I've never made this thing before. We had chosen a very beatiful necklace and a pair of earings; it is a set. It cost us 350 rubles and it's very cheap. But the post card we had bought, cost us 51 ruble and I was shocked by this price. I don't like post cards at all; a rather useless gift, don't you think?

All purchases are bought and we spent about half an hour strolling along the market. That's one of the things girls are supposed to do together, yeah? Well, it wasn't so bad; quite nice, I must admit. I'm sure I can do it more often.